To help uphold systemic racism, we’re told to not talk about race

One of the most insidious ways systemic racism is upheld is through the efforts of those that say we shouldn’t be talking about race. We’ve all heard it before: “Talking about race only divides us,” or “We’re all human; why bring race into it?” or the ever-present “It’s impolite to talk about such things here.” These statements may try to sound neutral or even try to pass themselves off as conciliatory on the surface, but in reality, they act as a powerful mechanism to maintain not only racial injustice and systemic inequity, but all kinds of other social inequities; from gender inequity to economic disparity to very specific things such as workplace pay gaps. The tools of politeness, propriety and even privacy all work to help maintain injustice and they are not at all intended to facilitate “unity”. Let’s unpack why avoiding conversations about race is not a path to unity but a tool of oppression.

Silence is a Weapon of Oppression

When we are discouraged from discussing race, we are also discouraged from educating ourselves and those around us. Silence, even when it is supposedly to “keep the peace”, withholds us from addressing the systems and structures that rely on racism to function, and the outcomes of that is continued systemic racism. The lack of knowledge an individual has on the disparities of Aboriginal incarceration rates and deaths in custody, or the details of the white Australia policy, or the subtleties of cultural superiority, or the well researched bias of teachers against Black and Brown kids, and even the completely fabricated lies of “millions of dollars” of special benefits for Indigenous communities, is all possible because of the facade of politeness and unity that demands silence on the issue of race.

The fact is, Systemic racism thrives in silence. By avoiding conversations about race, racial inequity and the systemic nature of it, we allow the status quo to remain unchallenged. The narrative that “race talk” is divisive distracts from the reality that racism is already dividing society—along lines of power, opportunity, access, outcomes; and not only the outcomes that individuals can distance themselves from like health gaps and wealth gaps, but the everyday outcomes of biased and preferential treatment in professional settings and grocery stores, in the weight or dignity given to the opinions of a white man and a black women, to the disparity in respect afforded when someone enters the room, in very everyday ways racism still affects every aspect of our lives.

This avoidance of the topic, or wilful ignorance, doesn’t just maintain existing inequalities—it also reinforces the idea that race is a taboo subject, fostering ignorance about its deep and ongoing impact. When we don’t talk about race, we fail to name racism, and what remains unnamed cannot be dismantled. In this way, silence about race is not neutral; it is an act that helps sustain systemic racism, and those who claim to want to maintain peace and unity by shutting down the conversation about race are working to maintain the oppression and injustice of the world.

Cultural Superiority and White Supremacy in Disguise

Embedded within the notion that it’s “impolite” or “unnecessary” to discuss race is an underlying assumption: that existing cultural norms, often rooted in whiteness, are universal and unquestionable. This reflects what scholars call embedded cultural superiority—the idea that the dominant culture’s norms and values are inherently superior and should remain unchallenged.

White supremacy is not just about overt hatred or bigotry; it also operates in subtle ways, such as through the idea of cultural refinement and superiority of Western ways of knowing, being and doing; speaking in euphemisms, not disturbing the “peace”, remaining “impartial” and aloof to the messiness of social issues, and preferencing propriety to directness, are all aspects of British culture that have, through the process of colonisation, become more universally accepted.

By insisting on maintaining these cultural norms as a sign of moral ascendency, white-dominated cultures, not only ensure that they avoid even a touch of discomfort, but furthermore, protect their position of power, ensuring that their cultural norms, history, and worldview remain the default and every other cultural identity is an optional garnish to add for flavour, or an outright threat to their way of living. Meanwhile, the voices, experiences, and histories of marginalised racial groups are ignored or delegitimised through the silencing of “politeness” or the facade of unity. This perpetuates a cycle where unjust norms dominate, and discussions about racial equity are framed as unnecessary or even “divisive.”

Politeness and Tone Policing as Tools of Control

The insistence on avoiding discussions about race often masquerades as a desire for “politeness” or “propriety.” But these demands are known as a form of tone policing—a strategy that shifts attention away from the content of a discussion point (e.g., racial injustice, or domestic inequity) and onto the way it is delivered. Tone policing is particularly effective at silencing marginalised voices, as it labels any discussion of injustice as impolite, aggressive, or inappropriate, because of the negative “feelings” it brings up for others. The word feelings is placed in quotation marks, because we know what feelings are being triggered here; shame, guilt, fear of accountability, discomfort, defensiveness etc.

Consider this: When someone speaks about racism, they are often met with accusations of being “divisive”, and when a woman refuses to smile for the cameras when standing with a politician, they’re said to be “disrespectful” or “impolite” and when a child speaks up about the state of the environment they are labelled as “angry” and lacking in decorum. The examples of how and when politeness and tone-policing is used to maintain the status quo are infinite and occurring everyday.

This focus on tone deflects from the real issue at hand and places the burden of maintaining decorum on the person experiencing oppression. Meanwhile, those in positions of privilege can remain comfortable, shielded from the discomfort of confronting the reality of racism. Claims of politeness, then, serve as a gatekeeping mechanism to keep discussions about race and social justice out of the public sphere, out of the home, out of the workplace, out of school, and out of our minds.

Why Talking About Race Is Necessary

If silence sustains racism, conversation disrupts it. Talking about race is the first step in identifying and addressing systemic inequalities. It creates opportunities to:

Name the Problem: When we talk openly about race, we can begin to not only build our degree of confidence and comfort with the issue, but to get better at naming the ways racism operates in society, systems, institutions, and everyday interactions. Having the language to describe and articulate any challenge is essential for addressing it.

Build Solidarity: Honest conversations about race allow for shared understanding and collective action across communities. Pretending that we already have unity when we don’t is actually a tool of oppression and not a righteous act at all. Talking about issues together with candour, honesty, respect and patience, is what actually builds collective understanding and eventually unity through genuine oneness. Far from being “divisive,” these discussions are necessary for unity. Unity without equity is superficial and serves only to maintain existing power structures.

How to Break the Silence

To move forward, we must reject the idea that politeness or propriety should come before justice or individual feelings of discomfort. Here’s how you can help challenge this narrative:

Speak Up:
When you hear someone claim it’s impolite or unhelpful to talk about race, challenge that assumption. Explain why avoiding race perpetuates harm. Try to unpack the pretence and subtext of their objection and speak to the impact and implications of such arguments for politeness and silence.

Center Marginalised Voices
Create and amplify spaces where those most impacted by racism can speak freely without being silenced or tone-policed. There is a significant amount of fear involved with Black, Indigenous and People of Colour want to speak of racism, because of the violence social repercussions they often face, so do what you can to understand that, and create spaces where that violence is not able to be enacted. People of Colour do not need “empowerment” they need some reprieve from the violence of racism and the repercussions of trying to talk about it.

Educate Yourself and Others
Take the time and expend the energy to educate yourself by reading and listening to the works of Black and Indigenous scholars, elders and educators on the reality of racism in society. Learn about systemic racism, white supremacy, cultural superiority, microaggressions, power dynamics, historical timelines and modern facts. Instead of leaving all of the labour to those most oppressed by race, do some of the heavy lifting yourself in the privacy of your own home, so the next time the opportunity arises of the conversation starts, it is not left to the Person of Colour to wade through the quicksand of confusion, denial and derailment.

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The claim that we shouldn’t talk about race is not an invitation to peace—it’s a demand for complacency. It asks us to accept the world as it is, and maintain the emotional comfort of those who are oblivious and aloof to rcism, rather than work toward a more equitable world where we can celebrate genuine unity. By rejecting this silence and engaging in meaningful conversations about race, we take the first step in dismantling systemic racism, challenging cultural superiority, and building a more just society.

Silence perpetuates oppression. Talking about race is an act of liberation. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.